A Whole New World
by Lenaellsi
Summary: Amanda's officially done with Vulcan's crappy xenophobia, so she, Sarek, and Spock pack it up and move to Earth. This changes everything- but actually doesn't change much at all. Featuring: Tiny!Spock and Tiny!Jim. Mentions of child abuse later on, check chapters for individual warnings. AU.
1. The Move

Author's Note: Hey so once upon a time I wrote a short little scene about Jim and Spock meeting as kids and it turned into a 20k+ fic oops

Sarek/Amanda is my lifeblood.

General information about this fic: Jim and Spock are currently 5 and 6, respectively. This is way pre-Abramsverse, so while the entire Kelvin fiasco has happened, nothing else from the 2009 film has. I'll be covering everything from Tarsus IV to Sarek's reconciliation with Spock to Frank (Jim's stepfather), so we're in for a longish ride. Expect to see other characters cropping up as well. (_coughLeonardMcCoycough_)

This is the intro- I'll try to get chapters out as quick as I can. Please enjoy!

* * *

It was third time in a four-week span that Spock had come home with blood on his face, and Amanda was done.

She and Sarek had a screaming match; at least, Amanda tried to have a screaming match with Sarek, and he "logic-ed" at her until she slammed her fist into a wall and broke two of her fingers. Which, annoyingly enough, would have also happened if she'd punched him in his smug, _logical_ face.

"Amanda," he said reprovingly, and she scowled at him, cradling her hand.

"Don't. Do not use that tone with me right now, Sarek. This is our _child_-"

"A child who is failing to control his emotional responses. He attacked Stelek as well."

"He's six years old!"

"His age is not an excuse for lack of discipline. He must outgrow it."

"Are you missing the part where this is not his fault?" Amanda snarled. "He is being bullied by classmates twice his age. It's gone from verbal abuse to physical, and you want me to let him 'grow out of it'-"

"Amanda-"

"As if his human blood is something he'll ever be able to change-"

"It is not a question of changing him, but rather his responses-"

"When they are beating him up-"

"Regrettable, but not altogether unexpected-"

"_Not unexpected?_ Yeah, of course, why expect _acceptance_ from the race who preaches IDIC-"

"Spock will learn from this."

"How the hell is he supposed to learn when he's miserable and in pain?!"

"We knew he would face difficulties-"

"No. Stop, just-" Amanda forced herself to breathe, squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them again, she was burning with new determination. "We've had this argument too many times before, Sarek. It can't be left unresolved anymore. I know you're perfectly content with running away to your duties and ignoring your commitment to your own family, but I won't let it happen again. We need to fix this."

"Amanda," said Sarek coolly. "I do not 'run away' to my duties. They are extensive; we discussed this prior to our decision to have a child."

"Just as we discussed our mutual commitment to raise that child together," she said frostily. "When you're around, you're not here. Not for him. Ever since he started training in Surak's philosophies, you've been avoiding him."

"That is not true."

"It is true! And Spock's noticed it too; he feels like he's failing you, and that just makes the teasing at school worse."

"His inferior genetics are not his fault."

There was a long, deadly silence.

"Excuse me?"

"...My words were spoken without thought. I-"

"Because, you see," said Amanda, lip curling dangerously, "I expect that now. From everyone on this fucking planet, all I ever hear is that Spock is going to be somehow _less_ because he's fifty percent mine. It's what his classmates say, it's what your colleagues say, hell, it's what your _family_ says. But I honestly never thought I would hear it from you."

"I did not-"

"You need to stop talking _now_, Sarek. If you say anything like that again, you will regret it for the rest of your life- because it will be a life without this family, do you understand?"

"…Forgive me," said Sarek quietly. "It is…a mindset that has become ingrained over time. It is untrue. I am sorry."

"Well," she said, smiling bitterly. "At least you're _sorry_."

"I-"

"No, I understand. It's all any of us hear these days. Spock is genetically inferior, Spock is a disgrace to your house, Spock will never measure up to his peers- never mind that he's at the top of his class- and why? Because you married the little human whore who dared to have your child."

"Amanda, please-"

"I want to take him to Earth."

_That_ got his attention. "What?"

She nearly faltered, but as she thought about it, the idea began to take shape. Earth was infinitely more diverse than Vulcan, and though Spock would likely still face teasing, it might be easier for him than on a planet where everyone's _haircuts_ matched.

"You heard me. I love Vulcan, I do. But it's poisonous to him. I want to take Spock to live on Earth."

"That is impossible," he said. His eyes were cold. "We agreed that Spock would be raised the Vulcan way when he was born."

"Then I'll leave," she said, and as the truth behind the words sunk in, she said them again, numbly. "I'll leave you. And I'll take Spock with me."

It was, surprisingly, the first time she had actually said the words out loud. She'd thought them before. Living on Vulcan was _hard_, and had been hard since the day she married Sarek. But before, the benefits seemed to outweigh the cost. She loved her family. She loved Sarek, more than she could say. She had to love him, because frankly, putting up with his bullshit sometimes required the kind of patience that only true love could provide. But Spock was everything to her, and Vulcan was hurting him. There wasn't another choice.

Sarek said absolutely nothing for three seconds too long, and Amanda felt a cold weight settle in her gut.

So _this _was what would break them. This would prove all of the gentle concern of her family and cool condescension of Sarek's colleagues right. A human and a Vulcan couldn't work out after all.

Spock was the one thing she could never compromise on.

And then, as she turned with tears in her eyes to pack up her few possessions and call her sister for a place to stay, Sarek grabbed her wrist.

"There is an embassy," he said. "In Iowa. It would be out of the city, and the temperature at this time of year is warm enough to allow Spock to adjust. We could enroll him in a local elementary school, and provide him with Vulcan texts so that he would continue to be challenged in his studies."

Amanda stared. Sarek continued, rubbing his fingers along hers in a gentle caress.

"There is a university not far from the embassy. You could teach there, if you would like. I will stay on as Ambassador but I will…endeavor to be more involved with Spock's life. You are correct in your opinion that I have been neglectful of my familial duties. His continued emotional and physical harm is unacceptable. I should not have expected him to reject his human side. I…hope you will forgive me, _ashayam_."

…And hell, but what was she supposed to say to that?

Damn Vulcans and their _totally-logical-give-me-a-break_ apologies. Damn Sarek and his pretty gray eyes.

And damn love, and all that it did to her.

She closed her eyes and leaned forward so that her head rested against his chest. After so many years, she was no longer surprised at the silence where a human heart would beat. She brought her hand up to his side, where- there. The rapid thrumming, once so alien, was now as familiar as the desert skyline outside their window.

He brought his arms up to wrap around her in a rare display of affection, and she grinned, remembering the dull throb of pain in her hand.

"I cracked the wall," she said, a little proud, and if Sarek smiled into her hair-

Well, no one would know.

* * *

Spock thought he had failed.

She knew the second she gave him the news; she saw the split second of emotion on his face before it was tucked away behind that steel wall he had been building since he was three.

"That is unnecessary, Mother," he said quickly. "I am content with our current state."

"Well I'm not," she said honestly, kneeling down so that they were eye level. "I'm not content here, Spock. I can't watch you get hurt anymore. "

"You are not happy here? With me and Father?" Spock asked uncertainly. His eyes were sad. Amanda backtracked quickly, horrified. Spock's emotions were even more of a minefield than regular children: his nonverbal cues were unreliable, and navigating a conversation as emotionally complex as this was draining. No wonder Sarek had run in the other direction.

"No, sweetie, of course I am," she said, and some of the tightness left Spock's eyes, though the unhappy slant to his mouth remained. "I love both of you very much. I love living here with you. But…it's been difficult. For all of us."

"I make things difficult," Spock interpreted, and she tried not to bang her head into the wall. She swore that when those kids who bullied her little boy and butchered his self-esteem grew up, she would hunt each of them down.

"No, Spock," she said firmly. "You have never made things difficult. It's others around you who are the problem, do you understand? They don't appreciate people who are different. I'm hoping that on Earth, people will be a little kinder, a little more accepting. You have _nothing_ to be ashamed of, honey, and nothing to be sorry about. Okay?"

It took a lifetime, but eventually Spock nodded. She hugged him, and he cautiously brought up his own arms to rest against her back. She sucked in a breath and savored the embrace; Spock had been getting more and more distant as he aged, and had started shying away from her affectionate hugs and kisses. He was determined the be the perfect Vulcan, and though she would love him no matter what he chose to be, she couldn't help but miss the little boy who had held her hand and giggled when she kissed the tips of his ears.

Maybe on Earth, things would be different.

* * *

Coming up: Spock meets this crazy-ass kid from Iowa who likes to jump off of high things for fun.

(Also if anyone has any prompts please please please PM me or comment or something I will probably write it I'm at my grandparents' house and the only thing within like 50 miles is Wal-Mart I am so stir-crazy I will write anything you want except smut or really romancy stuff just because I'm shit at romance but hell I'll try if you really want it I swear anything I'm going out of my mind here hELP)


	2. Jimmy T Kirk

Replies to guest reviews with questions:

Guest 1: Yeah lol the embassy. Honestly, it was a plot device to throw the Grayson family into Iowa...I couldn't really think of a way to make it fit, otherwise. Hope the mistake wasn't too distracting, and thank you for your review!

Sapere: I can't promise to not include Uhura, I just adore her. D: If you just don't like the Spock/Uhura romance, I can say with a fair amount of certainty that there won't any romantic pairings in this fic at all (except for Sarek/Amanda.) Hope that helped :) And don't worry, Jim is always a genius, and he is very much so in this universe.

**A/N**: Would have had this out sooner, but it started out at 2000 words and ended up more than twice that length. Enjoy the long chapter! I hope you guys like little Jimmy. Please, as always, let me know if you see any errors. I self-edit everything, and there's always a good chance I'll miss something. Thank you for reading!

Also: I am aware of Sam's absence. It does have a purpose. It will be addressed in later chapters.

* * *

Iowa had...corn.

Lots of it.

The move had been simple enough, though tiring; Spock and Amanda had collapsed into bed the moment they arrived, exhausted from the ordeal of trekking across the galaxy to their new home.

Two days later Amanda was itching to explore the neighborhood-cornfields and all-and as Sarek seemed disinclined she dragged Spock out with her instead, bundling him into a heavy blue sweater and wool cap. She was in shorts and a T-shirt and loving the reprieve from Vulcan's stifling heat, but Spock had started to shiver the moment they'd arrived.

There wasn't much to explore. Riverside was very different from the city she'd lived in during her childhood in Canada- everything seemed to be covered in a layer of dust, and traffic moved at a sluggish, lazy pace. There was none of the calm efficiency and organization of the Vulcans; transports of all kinds weaved through the streets casually, and laughter rang from corners where humans gathered, chatting about sports and Federation politics and reality holovision.

It was very different from Shi'Kahr.

Still, it was a nice enough neighborhood. The town center had several shops and restaurants that she planned on investigating at a later date, and a fountain in the center with a large, shimmering pool surrounding the spout. To Spock's bewilderment, she picked up a small pebble from the ground and tossed it in, closing her eyes and whispering something under her breath.

"What was the purpose of your action, Mother?" he asked, staring in fascination at the ripples spreading across the surface of the pool.

She smiled, smoothing his hair affectionately. "It's an old human tradition, Spock. People used to toss coins into wells and fountains, and when Earth stopped using money, people began throwing in pebbles instead. You're supposed to make a wish, and if you don't tell anyone what it is, your wish will come true."

"That is illogical," Spock said, baffled. "Why would…?"

She pressed a pebble into his hand, and said, "Indulge me, pi-veh*."

He tossed his pebble good-naturedly, and she kissed the top of his head.

* * *

She introduced Spock to ice cream at a small food stand; he stared at in fascination for fifteen minutes until he realized it was melting all over his hand, and then tried to eat it from the cone up. He sulked for a while as Amanda giggled at him and cleaned him up, muttering about how illogical consuming such a large amount of sugar was anyway.

They began to walk, Amanda enjoying the mild air and Spock looking around in interest at the new planet. It was a beautiful day and for the first few minutes Amanda enjoyed herself immensely.

But after enduring hundreds of questions about Earth's wildlife, social customs, climate, architecture, history, and anything else Spock could think of, she guiltily began to wish she'd left the house on her own.

They eventually came to a playground, where a few children were chatting and playing. Spock immediately shifted closer to her side, and Amanda nearly tripped over the bag of a woman who was reading from a PADD on a bench. Apologizing, she wondered if she could maybe strike up a conversation-

"Mother?"

She closed her eyes. "Yes, Spock?"

"Why are the residences arranged in such an inefficient fashion in relation to the town center?"

"I'm not sure, honey."

"Why not arrange all houses equidistant from the business district?"

"I don't know, Spock."

"Why is the-"

"Spock, why don't you go explore a little?" Amanda said, exasperated. She heard a light chuckle and met the eyes of the other woman. They shared a longsuffering glance, and Amanda knew immediately that she had found a fellow parent.

Spock nodded and wandered off somewhere near the slide, although 'wandered' was probably the wrong word for it. He seemed to be walking purposely towards a spattering of wildflowers. 'Examining the flora.' Amanda rolled her eyes fondly.

"Cute ears," said the woman with a soft smile, and Amana turned to face her fully. "What race is his father? If you don't mind me asking, of course."

Amanda swallowed. "…Vulcan," she said, and waited for the shock, the unwanted pity, the low questions of '_but how does that work_?' or '_can Vulcans even love_?'

Instead, the woman just blinked at her. "Oh," she said, "Are you the Ambassador's wife, then? I'd heard he was moving onto the Iowa base."

Something dark and heavy lifted off her shoulders, and Amanda found herself grinning. "Yes," she said. "That's us. I'm Amanda, Amanda Grayson."

"Winona Kirk," the woman said, smiling a little distantly. Her eyes were on the playground. Suddenly she winced, stood up quickly, and said, "JIMMY! Get down from there!"

Amanda blinked and turned around, searching the playground for the troublemaker. He wasn't hard to find; a small boy with blinding blond hair, balancing precariously on top of the monkey bars, looked up at Winona's call and grinned.

"Mom," he shouted, waving, and Amanda realized almost immediately what was going to happen. "Look what I-"

And then, as his balance was thrown off by the hand he was using to wave, Jimmy's foot slipped.

Amanda was running before she even heard Winona's scream, but she wasn't going to make it, and that fall was too long for Jimmy to survive without a broken bone or God, a broken neck…

And then a blue blur appeared underneath the bars, and Jimmy's small form crashed into it with an, "Oof!" _Spock_, she thought, and her heart stopped, because both the boys were on the ground and they _weren't moving_-

Until Jimmy started giggling, and rolled off of Spock with a bright smile. Spock blinked at him, baffled, and sat up, brushing primly at the dirty streaks on his sweater.

"That was awesome!" Jimmy said. Amanda wanted to smack him. She hurried to her son's side and began to check him over, but there wasn't a scratch on him_. Bless Vulcan strength_, she thought fervently, and started to brush sand out of the dark hair.

"In what way was your near death experience an event inspiring awe?" Spock asked skeptically. Amanda would've liked to know herself. Jimmy just offered them a winning smile, and Amanda thought, _damn it, he's too cute to be angry with_.

Winona crashed to her knees beside her son with a first aid kit in hand. Amanda wondered just how common accidents like this were with Jimmy.

"You're okay," she murmured, running her hands over Jimmy's uninjured head. "You're okay, you're- how are you okay? How…how did he catch him?"

"Vulcans have three times the strength of humans," Amanda said. "Spock's been nearly as strong as me since he was five."

"Oh," said Winona faintly. "I…good, that's…God, how can I thank you?"

"There is no need for thanks," said Spock solemnly, smoothing his hair back into place. Amanda hid a smile. "I was in the position to catch him; to act otherwise would be illogical."

"Still," Winona insisted, "You saved him from a broken bone, or worse."

"Yeah!" said Jimmy brightly. Sand coated one half of his face, and his golden hair stood straight up on one side. His eyes were bright blue and shining with excitement. "You were like…like the Flash. Whooshing out of nowhere like that. It was _cool_."

"I…" said Spock uncertainly. "How does the temperature relate to the incident?"

Amanda sighed. "It's a figure of speech, honey," she said. Spock nodded, filing the information away. Jimmy looked at Spock curiously.

"Hey, what's your name?"

"My name is S'chn T'g-"

"Spock," said Amanda quickly, as Jimmy's eyes glazed over. "His name is Spock."

Jimmy grinned. "You're funny," he said. "Wanna play?"

Spock had a deer-in-the-headlights look, so Amanda took the initiative.

"He'd love to," she said, fairly shoving her son in Jimmy's direction. "Wouldn't you, Spock?"

"I-"

"C'mon," said Jimmy, grabbing onto Spock's arm. "Are you a new kid? I haven't seen you before."

"I have never been to Earth before. I am Vulcan."

"Cool! I'll show you the playground!"

And they were off, Jimmy dragging Spock along behind him. Spock cast a vaguely panicked look back at her, but Amanda just smiled encouragingly.

_Please let this work out,_ she pleaded silently. _Please make a friend. Please._

"Always moving," Winona muttered, and Amanda nodded sympathetically. She rose to her feet and offered the other mother a hand; taking it, Winona stood and gave her a grateful smile.

"I can't thank you enough," she said. "And I'm sorry. Jimmy's always getting into trouble, I shouldn't have gotten distracted."

"It's not a problem," Amanda assured her, feeling a little sorry for the woman. Winona had dark shadows under her eyes and several PADDs sticking out of her bag; she fairly screamed 'over-worked.' "Spock was right. He was there, and he could help. It's the Vulcan way to preserve the life and health of others when possible."

"Sounds like a pretty good philosophy,"

"The Vulcans have a lot of good philosophies," Amanda said, a little bitterly. "Unfortunately, not all of them live up to those philosophies."

She smiled understandingly. "Is that why you left?"

"Among other reasons," she said.

"Well, it's certainly lucky for Jimmy that you're here now. Hey- let me have you both over for dinner. The Ambassador too, if he can make it."

Amanda bit her lip. "I don't know," she said, and, not wanting to look rude, she quickly explained. "Spock's been having trouble with other children. We moved from Vulcan to see if he would have better luck here, but he hasn't really left the house. I don't want to overwhelm him."

"Well," said Winona, eyes moving toward the playground. She grinned. "I think you might be in luck, there." Amanda looked.

Jimmy was dragging Spock around by the sleeve, chattering incessantly in his ear: "And this is the slide, I like to go down backwards because that makes it more fun. And this is the sandbox where the boring kids play, but it's not all boring 'cause once I found a real live Andorian fire crab in there and boy, was Mom angry when I brought it home-"

And Spock was _smiling_.

_Smiling._

Spock hadn't smiled in _three years_.

"Yeah," said Amanda faintly. "Yeah. Dinner sounds good."

She was barely aware of agreeing on a time and date, so entranced was she by the change that had come over her son. Jimmy was patient, keeping a firm hold on Spock's sleeve and explaining every part of the playground in extreme detail, accompanied by anecdotes about his various escapades in each location. The conversation was mostly one-sided, but Spock was nodding along earnestly, listening with wide eyes to Jimmy's highly exaggerated (she hoped) tales of adventure.

She hadn't seen Spock so drawn to another person…ever, actually. She had no idea what it was, but the fact was clear:

There was something special about Jimmy Kirk.

* * *

Sarek was on his way to San Francisco for a conference, so Amanda and Spock were on their own for dinner. Amanda showed up at the Kirk residence with Spock in tow, armed with blueberry pie and a bottle of wine. The house was about a mile outside of town, and looked old: at least a hundred years, by Amanda's guess. It was a beautiful house, but it didn't seem to be in great shape. Amanda remembered the PADDs in Amanda's bag and reasoned that there probably wasn't much time for yard work.

She rang the bell for the door, which had an old-fashioned lock and handle next to the keypad. Someone hollered, "It's open!" from inside and, shrugging, she turned the knob.

She was hit with a blast of old Earth rock music, which blared from an unidentified source at top volume. Spock's eyes went wide and he clamped his hands over his sensitive ears, stumbling back.

"Winona?" she called warily, wondering if she'd gotten the wrong house.

"JIMMY! Turn that noise off!"

The music immediately cut off, followed by a sheepish "Sorry, Mom!" Spock peeked out from where he was hiding behind her legs, rubbing at his ears. Amanda petted his hair absently and took a look around.

They were standing in narrow hallway. Immediately in front of them was a staircase that led to several rooms on the second floor, one of which seemed to have been the source of their noisy welcome. To the right was another hallway, which led to what looked like a kitchen, dining area, and living room.

After a moment, Winona poked her head out from the kitchen. "One second, I'm putting dinner in the oven."

She ducked away, and they heard several clangs and the sound of water running before she reappeared, pulling her long hair into a frizzy, messy bun.

"Sorry," she said, wiping her hands on her pants. "He just discovered our old music files, I haven't had a moment's peace since. Come in, drop your coats anywhere- I'll raise the temperature for Spock. Jimmy's upstairs-"

On cue, there was a loud bang from the stairs. Winona closed her eyes and took a deep breath; Amanda covered her grin.

"Jimmy? What did you break?"

"…Nothin'…"

"James Tiberius Kirk!"

A door opened, and a pair of blue eyes peaked out from the room at the top of the stairs. When they caught sight of Spock and Amanda, they widened, and Jimmy barreled down at breakneck speed.

"Spock! Hi!"

Spock looked like he'd been caught in a tornado. Amanda understood- Jimmy was everything quiet, reserved Vulcan children were not.

"…Hello, Jimmy," he said tentatively.

Jimmy slid to a stop in front of them, grinning, and grabbed onto Spock's arm without preamble.

"C'mon," he said, "We're gonna go play. I'll show you my books, do you like books? No other kids like books 'cause they're all stupid-heads that can't read."

Spock's eyes lit up. "I enjoy literature," he said eagerly, and Jimmy beamed.

"Cool! I got lots of old books, _real_ books, not on PADDs. You're gonna love 'em."

And they were gone, Jimmy dashing off in his usual whirlwind of energy and Spock stumbling behind, looking a little overwhelmed.

"Jimmy didn't initially strike me as an academic," Amanda said dryly, once the shock of the boy's abrupt arrival and departure had worn off. Winona laughed.

"I get that a lot. He's a little…extreme, but he's also a little bit of a genius. Drives his teachers crazy- he's always getting into trouble at school just because he's bored."

They moved to the kitchen and chatted for a while, discussing everything from the school both Jimmy and Spock would be attending in the fall, to the rowdy neighbors from Des Moines that had set off illegal fireworks the weekend prior, and even the upcoming Riverside Talent Show that would, in Winona's words, be either "terrible, or really, _really_ terrible."

Eventually Amanda's attention turned to the antiques lining the walls and the old-fashioned telephone system still installed in the kitchen.

"Your house is beautiful," she said, admiring the dark, genuine woodwork on the walls. "Did you restore it yourself?"

"…It was my husband's," said Winona, something in her voice changing. "His family passed it to us when…"

She'd had her suspicions, but that confirmed it. "I'm so sorry," Amanda said quietly.

Winona suddenly seemed very preoccupied with the floor tiles. She cleared her throat. "Yeah. Well, it's over. Jimmy's here; George isn't. Live in the present, right?"

"Right," said Amanda, smiling sadly. "If you-"

The timer on the oven dinged, and Winona sprang up, clearly glad for the interruption.

"I made lasagna," she said sounding a little flustered as she set the dish on the counter. "Vegetarian. Spock can eat that, right?"

"That's fine," Amanda replied carefully, keeping her voice light. "He might pick at his food a little- he's still getting used to Terran dishes."

Winona laughed, though she still wouldn't meet Amanda's eyes. "Trust me, I'm used to it. I never know if Jimmy's going to eat thirds of everything or ask for candy instead. Want to grab the boys? I'll set the table."

She took pity. "Sure."

"They'll be in his bedroom- top of the stairs, go straight."

Amanda made her way from the kitchen to the stairs, straining her ears for sounds of- well, laughter or explosions. She wasn't sure which was more likely.

It was ominously quiet, and she quickened her pace and pushed the door at the end of the hallway open a crack, eavesdropping.

"This was one of the last books they ever made from paper," Jimmy was saying. "It's about the First Contact. It's too hard for me to read right now, but I'll read it soon. Mom says I'm getting better with big words and stuff."

"Your command of grammar and vocabulary is very impressive for a human child of your age," said Spock sincerely.

"I think that was nice," Jimmy said. "It sounded like you said something nice. Anyway, First Contact was with Vulcans, right? Like you?"

Amanda decided to interrupt. She pushed the door open the rest of the way and found Jimmy and Spock sprawled next to a pile of hard-copy books. Well, Jimmy was sprawled; Spock sat primly in the meditation position, back straight as a ruler.

"I studied the First Contact in college," she offered, and Jimmy rolled over to face her, staring at her upside-down with interest. "I can tell you boys all about it over dinner. Jimmy, your mother made lasagna."

Both boys pulled almost identical faces of disgust.

"With _vegetables_?" Jimmy moaned, at the same time as Spock's incredulous "_Lasagna?_ Is that some type of nourishment?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Downstairs, or no pie after."

They followed quickly after that.

* * *

Jimmy was very, very smart- it was obvious within the first five minutes of dinner. As requested, Amanda went over the basics of the First Contact with the boys, who listened attentively.

"So Zeeman Corain-" Jimmy started.

"Zefram Cochrane."

"Right. So he met the Vulcans? And Earth had never seen aliens before?"

"Yep," said Amanda, smiling. "And he made Earth a more peaceful place in the process."

"Because when we knew there were other people besides humans, stupid stuff like fighting seemed a lot less important," he said, eyes bright with something indescribable.

"Yes," she said, a little stunned at Jimmy's insight. "Yes, that's exactly right."

"I wanna be a hero, like Zefram," Jimmy said quietly, and suddenly he seemed far, far older than he was. Next to her, Winona's breath caught. "I wanna explore and learn new things and meet awesome aliens like Vulcans."

"You have met a Vulcan," Spock pointed out.

Jimmy giggled, and the spell was broken. "Not you, dummy. Different aliens. New aliens. Ones with five heads and stuff."

Spock blinked. "That would be a highly improbable evolutionary occurrence."

"…But it'd be _cool_."

"Yes," said Spock wearily. "I suppose by your colloquial definition of 'cool,' it would be."

"You talk funny."

"Eat your dinner, boys," Winona admonished. Jimmy stuffed a final piece of lasagna in his mouth and dropped his fork on his plate.

"I'm done," he said, through his mouthful of noodles. He swallowed, and turned to his friend. "Spock's done too, right Spock?"

"I-yes," said Spock, glancing at Jimmy's encouraging face and setting down his fork.

"Can we go?"

Winona rolled her eyes. "What do you say?"

Jimmy made a face. "May we _please_ go?"

"…Close enough," she sighed. Jimmy beamed and pulled on Spock's sleeve.

"Come on," he said. "I'm gonna show you Peter Pan."

"Are you a teacher, Amanda?" Winona asked, as the boys scrambled down from their chairs and scurried back up to Jimmy's room. "You sounded like you've taught before."

"I used to teach at McGill University in Canada," she said. "Xenocultural studies. I met Sarek-Spock's father- at a convention."

"Love at first sight?"

She laughed. "Not so much. I'm pretty sure I called him an insufferable, cold-blooded asshole."

Winona snorted. "Is that Vulcan flirting?"

"Why, Winona," said Amanda, adopting her haughtiest expression. "Vulcans do not 'flirt,' or engage in such illogical and improper sexual advances."

"Really?" she said, brows drawing together in confusion. "How did you nab him?"

Amanda smirked, and drawled, "Let's just say I could've taught a Vulcan biology course or two."

Winona burst out laughing. "I _like_ you."

"Mutual," Amanda said, grinning. God, she'd forgotten how _fun _humans could be.

"So you insulted him and he fell in love?"

"Nah. I insulted him and he insulted me, and _then_ we fell in love. He told me he'd never met anyone so illogical in his life, and I told him to fuck off, and then all of a sudden we'd been dating for eight months and were ready to tie the knot."

"And he asked you to marry him?"

"He did. Well, he gave me a list of 'logical reasons for our union in matrimony,' and I threw it at his head and refused. Then I wrote him a different list, with just one thing on it, and showed him how to do a proposal properly: romance, candles, etc. He didn't appreciate it, but he said yes."

"That's wonderful. And you lived on Vulcan until now?"

"Yes, I lived there for eleven years. It was beautiful there, but leaving was the right decision for all of us."

"I understand," said Winona quietly, and Amanda felt a twinge of curiosity.

"What about you and Jimmy?"

Winona's face shuttered, and she gave a tight smile. "Not much to say, really. We've had some tough times, but we're bouncing back."

And that…seemed to be the end of it.

But if Amanda had learned anything from the Vulcans, it was a healthy respect for privacy. She let it drop.

They continued talking for a while, sipping wine and sharing embarrassing stories about their sons. Amanda recounted Spock's ice cream incident from earlier, and Winona dryly shared the many, many adventures had by one James T. Kirk over the short five years of his life.

"He's a magnet for trouble, and I have the feeling he always will be," she lamented. "I love him, but I wish sometimes he'd keep his nose where it belongs instead of sticking it into everything."

"Spock's the same way," said Amanda. "When he was four, he followed a le-matya back to its den- we have no idea how he got out of there alive. Turns out he just wanted to 'observe their natural state.'"

"Budding scientist?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "God help me."

An hour later, Amanda remembered the pie. "Spock has a special weakness for blueberries," she said. "We discovered it when he went through his 'I won't eat anything' stage- I used to have them imported from Earth on special occasions."

Winona grinned. "Well Jimmy will eat anything with sugar-as if he needs it. Boys! Come get desert!"

* * *

While they were eating, Spock and Jimmy sat at the corner of the table, seemingly having an in-depth discussion. Amanda listened in.

"I'm telling you, if Peter sprinkles you with fairy dust, you can fly to Neverland!"

"That violates several physical laws of nature," said Spock, looking genuinely puzzled. "A humanoid would not be able to fly without the assistance of a technological device."

Jimmy rolled his eyes. "It's _magic_, Spock. Like in fairy tales."

"I have not read any such tales."

And so on. Amanda exchanged an amused glance with Winona, who was shaking with suppressed laughter. Their boys made quite the pair.

After desert Amanda and Winona worked together on cleaning up the table while Spock and Jimmy continued to talk. After a while, the conversation dwindled, and Amanda peeked from the kitchen to find Jimmy fast asleep in his chair and Spock toying with the edge of the tablecloth, eyes drifting slowly shut.

"I guess that's our cue to get going," she said with laugh. Winona peeked out behind her and smiled warmly. Jimmy jerked awake and Spock looked up, actually looking a little disappointed. "Spock, honey, grab your coat."

Spock nodded sleepily and crawled down from his chair, wandering towards the front hall.

"Thank you for dinner, Win, it was wonderful-"

"Wait!"

Jimmy shot out of his chair, raced up the stairs and vanished; Winona and Amanda exchanged bemused looks. After a moment, he reappeared, walking much slower and carrying something in his arms.

It was a book, leather-bound and gorgeous, with gold letting scrolled along the spine: _The Hobbit_.

"This one's my favorite," said Jimmy shyly. "It's got swords and trolls and dwarves and goblins and elves- ha, I think you'll like the elves - and Bilbo is little, like us, but he's the hero. It was kinda hard to read, but you're real smart, so you won't have problems with the bigger words."

Jimmy held it out, and Spock's eyes widened. He reached out, and Jimmy placed it carefully in his hands.

"I want you to borrow it and read it so we can fight Smaug next time you come over. I know you'll be careful 'cause you like books a lot, like me." Jimmy bit his lip. "You'll read it, right?"

"It sounds fascinating," said Spock, touching the cover reverently. "Thank you, Jimmy. I will read it as quickly as I can."

"Good," said Jimmy, smiling brightly. "We'll beat Smaug and get the treasure!"

"Who is Smaug?"

"He's a big mean dragon! ROAR!"

"Fighting him seems highly dangerous," said Spock, looking a little alarmed. "Would it not be more logical to leave combat to those more qualified?"

"Yeah, probably," said Jimmy, with a mischievous smile. "But fighting him ourselves is more _fun_. I never got to before, 'cause I never had a fighting partner before."

"I will stand with you in battle," said Spock solemnly, and Jimmy laughed.

"Good," he said. "And you're strong, so we'll beat that dragon no problem. WHOOSH!"

He mimed stabbing with an invisible sword, and Amanda couldn't help her giggle.

"Am I crying?" she asked faintly as she and Winona watched the exchange.

"No," she whispered back, "But I'm pretty sure I am."

She was, Amanda saw, and that made her tear up as well. Jimmy continued swishing with an imaginary sword, and Spock was smiling again, Vulcan control forgotten as he watched his new friend.

"Jimmy's never fit in around here," Winona said. "He's too smart, too different. He's never really been able to make friends."

"I know how that is," Amanda replied, remembering Spock's sullen silence and bloody lips after bad days at school.

"And he _never_ shares his books," Winona continued softly. "They were his father's."

Amanda glanced at her sharply. "Is…is that a problem?"

"No," she said quickly. "I know he'll be careful, and they're Jimmy's books now anyway. Besides…I feel like this could be a really good thing, don't you?"

"Yes," Amanda said, watching as Jimmy demonstrated proper sword–fighting technique to a baffled Spock. She smiled.

"Yes, I think it could be."

* * *

Later, as they were driving home, Spock suddenly jerked awake from where he'd been drifting off against the window.

"Is something wrong, honey?" Amanda asked, concerned.

"No, Mother," he said, sounding baffled. "Only I have come to an improbable conclusion."

She frowned. "What conclusion is that?"

"It seems that your ancient Earth traditions do have some merit," he said, and it took her a moment to realize that he was talking about the pebble he'd thrown into the fountain.

"Really?" she asked, surprised. "Why do you think that?"

Spock was quiet for a moment. When she glanced at him, she realized he was gently running his finger along the spine of the book Jimmy had given him, wonder and delight softening his features.

"I believe," Spock said softly, "That my wish came true."

* * *

Coming up: Winona and Amanda decide to take a break from their exhausting children, but they need a babysitter. Luckily, Winona knows a certain doctor's son who is up for the job…

*Pi-veh: Literally, "little one"


	3. I'm a Babysitter, not a

A/N: I fucked up

(Explanation at the end.)

* * *

Curiosity had pressed her to look up more information about Jimmy's father.

Commander George Kirk had served with Starfleet for fifteen years, working first in engineering and then later as navigator and First Officer. He had met Winona, an engineer, during his first tour; they had lived briefly on Earth before returning to serve together under Captain Robau, George as First Officer and Winona as CEO. That was where everything went to hell.

Amanda remembered hearing about George Kirk's sacrifice on the nets. She couldn't believe she hadn't figured it out earlier- Jimmy was a miracle baby, the son of a hero. George's name was spoken with reverence by reporters across the nets, his "eight minutes of captaincy" the stuff of Starfleet legend.

And yet it seemed everyone had forgotten his family.

Winona was generally…okay. Though Jimmy was certainly growing into the spitting image of his father, he and Winona had the same sort of spirit. The laugh lines crinkling in the corners of her eyes spoke of a life lived without fear or reservation, and she was generous and unwaveringly kind towards Amanda and her family. (Sarek even liked her, and Sarek hardly liked anybody.)

Sometimes, though, the laughter and life faded and her eyes turned hollow, haunted by memories and a sharp pain that Amanda couldn't understand.

Her dark spells came in spurts, and Amanda always made sure to take the boys off her plate when she knew it was a bad day. So things progressed easily enough, and Spock and Jimmy grew closer every day.

But…

There was a room to the left of Jimmy's that she'd caught a glimpse of one day while picking up Spock. Curious, she'd pushed the door open and peeked inside.

It had clearly been a child's bedroom, and it was covered in a layer of dust. Clothing and toys were scattered across the floor along with a broken PADD and the drawers of the dresser were flung open and empty, like someone had packed up and left in a hurry. Carved into the door were initials: _GSK._

It looked…bad. And thoughts had crept in, unwelcome and unlikely and frightening, and suddenly Winona's bleak moments seemed somehow more dangerous.

Amanda had considered pressing the issue, but it didn't feel right. So the empty room fell under the same "do not ask" file as the Starfleet command badge Winona kept on a chain around her neck and the photo with the torn edges she kept in her bag. Every family had their secrets, after all.

She just hoped the Kirk family's were not as dark as they appeared.

* * *

"So are you looking forward to teaching again?"

Amanda smiled, sipping at her drink and watching the afternoon sun cast tall shadows over the yard. Jimmy and Spock were playing some form of hide and seek which seemed to consist of Jimmy picking increasingly obvious hiding spots and Spock pretending not to see him.

"Very much so. I loved it, and I've learned so much since the last time I was in the classroom. It'll be amazing to pass that experience on to the students."

"What courses are you teaching?"

"Oh, a handful of universal diversity classes, some Vulcan language seminars…a few literature courses, which I'm looking forward to."

"That's fantastic. Have you told Sarek yet?"

Amanda pursed her lips. "Sarek's on Vulcan for the next week. I haven't gotten a message through yet."

Winona shrugged. "Then we'll just have to celebrate without him."

Amanda laughed awkwardly. "No, Win, it's fine-"

Winona's mouth set in a stubborn line that was so reminiscent of Jimmy's pout Amanda had to hold back a snort. "It's not. I understand that Sarek has his 'ambassador-ly' duties, but you deserve it. We can go to Des Moines. It may not be much, but it's got some nice restaurants and we can catch a show or something."

"We've got the boys…"

"We'll call a sitter."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Find me a sitter that can handle those two and I'll pay them in gold."

Winona smirked. "Pay up, 'cause I've got one. My doctor's son, Leonard- he's only thirteen, but he's incredibly responsible _and_ he's the only one who can keep Jimmy in check. Spock's so quiet, I'm sure Len will be able to handle them."`

"Spock's quiet on his own," Amanda said, frowning. "But the two of them together…"

Winona sighed. "Amanda, I_ trust_ Len. He's got a way with kids, and Jimmy loves him. It'll be fine."

Amanda thought about how long it had been since she'd gone out to dinner with a friend just to chat and eat and _smile_, and she relented. The worst that could happen was-

Well, she tried not to think about that.

* * *

Leonard McCoy was a Georgia-bred boy with dark hair and a spattering of freckles across his nose. He had warm, kind eyes, a first aid kit tucked under one arm, and the most pronounced Southern drawl she'd ever heard. She liked him immediately.

They were all standing outside the Kirk house. Len had been dropped off by his mother minutes before, lugging a bag over his shoulder and grinning widely.

"Len McCoy, ma'am," he said politely, offering her a hand. She shook it, smiling.

"Amanda Grayson. I've heard a lot of good things about you, Len."

He grinned blindingly, all Southern charm. "That's good to hear, ma'am. I hear you've got another little hooligan for me to look after."

Winona covered her snort with a cough and called, "Jimmy, Spock, Len's here."

From inside the house came Jimmy's distinctive shriek: "BOOONES!"

Amanda sent a questioning glance towards Winona, who rolled her eyes. "Jimmy gave him that nickname the first day they met. I'm not sure even Len knows why."

"'Cause he's nuts, that's why," Len said, huffing indignantly. As if to prove his point, Jimmy came hurtling out of the house, dragging Spock behind him by the sleeve.

"Bones, Bones," Jimmy gasped, delighted. They slid to a halt in front of the wary teen, who crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow. "Look, Bones, this is Spock!"

Jimmy gestured proudly at his new friend. Spock blinked, looking a little nervous. After a moment he hesitantly spread his fingers in the ta'al and said, "Hello, Leonard. I am Spock."

Leonard, thankfully, adapted quickly. "Hey, Spock" he said easily. "Call me Len."

Jimmy was stomping his feet impatiently, eager to return to the center of Leonard's attention. "But Bones," he said eagerly, "Look, I got a fighting partner now! I'll be a dwarf and Spock can be an elf and you can be an orc, or a goblin, maybe-"

"Gee, thanks," said Len dryly, and Amanda smothered her laughter. "Knew I shouldn't have read you those books."

"We can make swords and everything, Bones, it'll be the _best_."

"Yeah, yeah, you and your nerd stuff," Len said. "Tell you what, Gimli. Go show Legolas here your weaponry. Go on, get- I'll be there in just a minute."

Jim nodded, bellowed, "Bye, Mom!" and tore back into the house, yanking a bemused Spock behind him.

"Tolkien- that's pretty heavy stuff for a five year old," Amanda said as the boys' thundering footsteps faded away.

"Kid's hyper, but he's a genius," said Len fondly. "I hear yours is too, Mrs. Grayson."

"Spock certainly has a flair for all things scientific," she said dryly. "Don't let him near anything electronic, he'll try and talk you into letting him take it apart."

"He as much of a troublemaker as Jimmy?" Len asked, eyes glinting with amusement. "It seems like they get along pretty well."

"Oh, Jimmy's the light of Spock's life. He follows him around everywhere," said Amanda, grinning. "It's hilarious."

"We should get going," Winona reminded her gently. Amanda bit her lip.

Len seemed to notice her reluctance. "Don't worry, ma'am, I'll take real good care of them," he promised.

"I know," she assured him. "It's just…it's the first time I've really been away from him since we came to Earth."

"I understand. Is there anythin' I should know?" he asked. "Any problems he might have? Vulcan stuff, I mean. I know he's a telepath an' all, but I couldn't find much about them on the nets."

"Well," she said, "He _is_ a touch telepath, so try to keep physical contact to a minimum- especially hands. If we're out later than 2100 hours, he might want to meditate, or even sleep if Jimmy wears him out. He gets cold easily. And there's the whole 'emotional control' thing, but that's normal." After a moment, she lowered her voice and added, "Also, he's got a stuffed sehlat-kinda like a teddy bear for Vulcans- in his bag that he thinks he's far too logical and mature for- which is why he carries it around everywhere, of course. If he gets upset, that usually helps."

Len nodded, taking it in, and then grinned at her.

"Piece of cake. Ya'll enjoy yourselves, I'll look after them all right."

Amanda shook off the lingering anxiety and waved a cheerful goodbye. When they took off for the city, she kept her head clear and thought it through- _logically_, what could really go wrong?

* * *

Len was having a crisis.

He was a darn good babysitter. Kids liked him. Trusted him. Even Jimmy, who had more issues than a kid his age should've ever been saddled with, had warmed up pretty quick.

But Spock was becoming a problem.

And yeah, Vulcans were different, whatever. Different lifestyle, different culture. But something about the total lack of emotions just rubbed him the wrong way. He wasn't xenophobic or anything, but jeez, the kid was practically _icy_. It was kind of freaking him out.

They'd started out okay, with Jimmy beaming and dragging them both around the house, chattering eagerly. But Spock was quiet and withdrawn, never speaking unless asked a direct question and staring coldly at his shoes. He ignored or declined all of Jimmy's increasingly desperate requests for play, preferring to keep his distance. It was hard for Len to say he disliked a kid, especially one as young as Spock, but…

They had ended up in the living room, sitting in cold silence. Jimmy had tucked himself into one side of the couch and was fiddling with a puzzle toy Len had brought him while Spock sat stiffly on the other side, reading something written in a scrolling, complicated looking script that could only be Vulcan. Giving up, Len had settled in an armchair, begrudgingly working his way through his summer reading assignments.

Suddenly a hand yanked on his sleeve. "Bones?"

He glanced down to find wide blue eyes staring at him imploringly. "Can we talk in the kitchen?"

"Uh…" he said. "Sure, kid. Spock, give us just a moment. Holler if you need anythin'."

Spock nodded silently, not looking up from his PADD. Jimmy's shoulders slumped, and Len looped a concerned arm around them as he led the way into the kitchen.

"Alright, what's up?" he asked, noting the way Jimmy refused to meet his eyes. It was a worrying habit, one that Len was trying to break. He leaned against the kitchen wall and tried to keep his posture relaxed and open. "Jimmy? You all right?"

"I'm worried," Jimmy admitted quietly. Frowning, Len stooped and tipped the kid's chin up.

"What's wrong, buddy?"

Jimmy bit his lip and glanced towards the living room. Lowering his voice, he said, "Spock's all quiet. He's usually-nicer, I don't know, more…Spock-ish."

Len blinked, processing. "He's not normally like this? That's just kind of how Vulcans are, Jimmy. It's their way."

"No," said Jimmy resolutely, shaking his head. "Not Spock. He's usually quiet, but he talks to me. He was okay at first, but now he's all...robot-y."

"Huh," said Len, doubt creeping in. What if the kid was sick? Would he even be able to tell? They didn't exactly teach about the Vulcan common cold in biology. "Okay, you want me to talk to him? See if something's wrong?"

"Yeah," said Jimmy quietly, ducking his head as he always did when he felt like he was asking too much- and, as always, Len's heart clenched at the sight. "Please?"

"You got it, kid," Len said gently, standing back up and pulling Jimmy into a one-armed hug. "Thanks for letting me know. Remember- any problems-"

"And I ask you," Jimmy said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Some of the gloom was leaving his eyes. "Or mom. I know."

Len grinned at him and began to lead the way back into the living room. "That's what I like to hear. Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

See, here was the thing about Jimmy Kirk.

When Len had met him the first time, Jim had been a silent, unhappy genius of a kid with no friends and a talent for keeping quiet when he needed _anything._ (Actually, just a talent for quiet in general.) Len knew about his dad-jeez, _everyone_ knew about his dad, poor kid- but something had still seemed…off, about the way Jimmy refused to take up any space in his own life.

He'd had doubts about Winona at first, but Jimmy's mother was about as far from abusive as Len could possibly imagine. She was gentle and affectionate, if sometimes awkward, and clearly loved her kid. She was also incredibly _busy_, and as the school year ended, Len had picked up the babysitting job pretty much full time.

Spending day after day with Jimmy had helped him earn the kid's trust and even his friendship, though it also revealed just how much Jimmy needed someone other than his mother. Len knew he didn't get along with other kids; he was too smart, too independent, and too old too soon. But he was still painfully lonely, and it worried Len sick.

So hell, if Jim saw a potential friend in Spock, then Len was going to give the kid a chance.

* * *

He gave it a few minutes, sitting back down in the uncomfortable silence of the living room and hoping that Spock would work himself out of his weird mood. A few unbearable minutes later, it was pretty clear that it was not happening. Len pushed himself out of the chair with a sigh and called out to the Vulcan reluctantly.

"Hey Spock? Mind if we talk?"

Spock looked up, slight confusion marring the blank features for a moment before he nodded and hopped down from the couch. Jimmy cast him a hopeful look, and Len attempted to look reassuring as he led the way into the kitchen and tried to come up with a good approach. It was frustrating- he was good with kids, with _human_ kids, but Spock was a puzzle he couldn't figure out. He just didn't have all- or any, really- of the pieces.

When they reached the kitchen, Spock wandered over to the window and leaned against it, turning his face into the light like a sunflower. There was something tight in his face, something a little off.

Huh. Maybe Jimmy was right.

"Hey, Spock?" he asked cautiously, heading over to the window to stand next to the kid in the sunlight. "Everything all right? You need anything?"

Spock shook his head and mumbled, "I am fine."

Len frowned. That seemed pretty vague for a Vulcan. "Plenty of definitions for 'fine.'"

Spock shrugged and avoided eye contact. Sighing, Len squatted down to his level and waited for the kid to look at him.

"I want to help, Spock," he said earnestly. The kid eyed him for a moment, judging his sincerity. Len kept his face honest and encouraging, hoping Spock would decide to trust him.

"It is…cold," Spock said finally. Len blinked.

"You want me to turn the heat on? That's no problem."

"No," said Spock quickly. "Not in the house…outside." With that, the floodgates seemed to open. "Earth is cold. Vulcan was never cold, even in the winter. And the sky is the wrong color, and everything is damp, even when it is not raining-"

Well, that explained it. Kid was missing home. And now he felt like a jerk.

"You know," said Len gently, "I'm not from around here either." At Spock's dubious glance, he admitted, "Well, I am from Earth. But Iowa's not home. I come from Georgia. You know where that is?"

"The far Southeast region of the United States of America."

"That's right," said Len. "Right on the coast. Always warm there, like on Vulcan, but humid as it could get. When I moved here with my family, I could never get warm either. We call that 'homesickness,' Spock."

"It is a disease?" asked Spock, alarmed, and Len just barely kept himself from rolling his eyes.

"Not a disease," he said. "More of an emoti-_mental_ thing," he corrected hastily as Spock tensed up. "It happens when you move away from where you've lived for a long time, or are away from family. You think you're missing your mom, too?"

Spock shrugged, which meant yes. "I am…unaccustomed to her absence."

"Well," he said, standing and offering the kid a hand. After a moment of hesitation, Spock latched onto his sleeve. _No hands. Right. _"I know of a few cures for homesickness. What d'ya say we go see if Jimmy's blown something up? Then we can get started on your treatment, courtesy of Doctor Leonard H. McCoy."

"You hold a medical degree?" Spock asked skeptically, and Len grinned.

"I will one day. Gonna be a doctor like my dad, and I know all his tricks. Tell me, you ever had ice cream?"

Spock made a face. "I have attempted," he said. Len wondered how that particular story ended.

"Well, you've never tried the McCoy family peach ice cream. I always bring some over for Jimmy when I stay with him, and he loves it. Zooms around like a rocket afterwards though. Think we can handle him?"

"I find myself incapable of predicting any of Jimmy's actions," Spock admitted, startlingly a laugh out of Len.

"No kiddin'," he said, unable to resist the urge to ruffle the kid's hair. Spock blinked up at him, startled, and began to comb it meticulously back into place. Grinning, he mused it again, delighted at the frustrated scowl that graced the Vulcan's face.

"Best thing for homesickness is a little fun to take your mind off of it," he said, steering Spock back into the living room. Jimmy looked up from where he was sitting dejectedly on the couch and flashed them a tentative smile. To Len's relief, Spock offered a small twitch of his lips in return. "What do ya say? Think you can handle that?"

"We shall see," said Spock, shrugging. He hesitated. "However, I believe the process would be facilitated with the addition of the ice cream you mentioned earlier."

Jimmy sprang out of his seat at that, and Len laughed.

Human or not, kids were all pretty much the same.

* * *

"Amanda, you need to relax."

"I am. Totally relaxed. Couldn't be calmer. I'm thinking of ordering the risotto-"

"You're going to rip the menu apart if you keep folding and unfolding it like that."

"Sorry. It's just a habit. Um. Salad, and for, uh…"

"Amanda."

"They're going to burn the house down," she said helplessly, dropping her head in her hands. Winona sighed and set her menu on the table patiently. Amanda glanced up feebly through her fingers. "Spock's going to take apart a toaster or something and catch the whole damn place on fire."

"It's okay," Winona said soothingly, patting her arm. "He already took the toaster apart last week."

"_Win_."

"Sorry."

"Do you think they're all right?"

Winona sighed. "Amanda, I'm telling you, Leonard is a_ miracle_. I thought I'd never be able to leave the house again- Jimmy hated all of his babysitters. Wouldn't stay in the same room as them. But then Len came along and the two of them were best friends by the time I left for work."

"It's not Leonard," Amanda insisted. "He seemed like a nice boy, it's just…Spock and Jimmy, they're a little high-maintenance."

Winona snorted. "That's an understatement." She softened as Amanda's face fell. "Look, I'm sure they're fine. Maybe a little hyped up, but nothing Len can't handle."

* * *

"Jimmy Kirk, get out of that tree or _so help me God_-"

"But Bones, I never got this high before!"

"Never…how did you even get up there?" asked Len helplessly. They'd settled outside on the porch, Len hoping the bright sunlight and warmth would help ease Spock's discomfort. He'd turned his back for three seconds to dump their empty ice cream bowls in the dishwasher, and when he'd come back-

"Spock helped me!" said Jimmy brightly, and with a rush of dread Len noticed the absence of their resident hobgoblin.

"Spock?" he called, panicked. To his horror, Spock's head popped out from the higher branches of the tree Jim was a tempting to scale- at least _seven meters_ off the ground.

"Hello, Leonard," said Spock, remarkably calm for a six-year-old hanging upside down from a _really not that sturdy looking_ branch.

Oh god, the kid was going to die. He was going to die, and then Len would be the accidental murderer of son of the Vulcan ambassador to Earth and Vulcan probably had ritualistic blood sacrifices or something and he would be condemned to death and thrown _logically_ into the middle of a volcano at high noon-

"Down," he squeaked, voice cracking pitifully. Jimmy giggled, and Len's glare darkened into something dangerous. "_Down_, boys. _Now_."

Jimmy took the hint and began sullenly making his way down the tree. Len hovered anxiously, regretting the ice cream with every fiber of his being (though it had served it's purpose in cheering up their sulky Vulcan.) Had he known sugar would affect Spock nearly as badly as Jimmy, he would have never given ether of them even a spoonful.

"You're no fun," Jimmy muttered, once he was safely back on the ground. Spock landed lightly next to him a moment later, and Len scowled.

"Do you know what's not fun? Broken limbs aren't fun. _Brain injuries_ aren't fun. And I'm a babysitter, darn it, not a doctor. So you two better stay on the ground from now on, you hear?"

Spock (thank god) seemed to think that was sensible. "A reasonable restriction," he said. But just as Len was getting ready to thank him for his possession of common sense-

"As Jimmy is human, it would be best to exercise caution in his play habits. I, of course, face no such limitations."

Jimmy scowled. "Hey!"

Len grit his teeth. Spock's Vulcan superiority complex was seriously wearing him down. _You are above this, Leonard. Do not pick a fight with a six-year-old._

"That _definitely_ applies to you too, Elf-ears."

…_Damn it._

The look on the kid's face was worth every drop of dignity he'd just lost. "_Elf_-_ears?_"

Len shrugged, trying to hide his delight. "Sorry, kid, they look pretty pointy to me."

Spock glowered. "I am _not_ an elf."

"I don't know, you're pretty short too. Fit right in at Santa's workshop."

"I do not understand what-"

"I'm bored," Jimmy announced loudly, glaring at them both. "Stop fighting, let's _do _something."

"We could go back inside," said Len hopefully. Jimmy grinned.

"Spock, didn't you say you wanted to take apart the stereo?" Spock's eyes lit up.

"_No._"

"Aw, Bones..."

Len was at the end of his patience. "We can…I don't know, don't you have a game that doesn't involve either of you doing dangerous things?" he asked desperately.

Jimmy thought for a moment, and his face brightened with the all too familiar thrill of adventure.

"_Bones_," he said. Len took a moment to find his faith and pray to whoever might be listening.

"….Yeah, Jimmy?"

"Are you good at roaring?"

* * *

Several hours later, Len was sporting bruises all over his calves and lying prone in the tall grass, doing his best to play dead. Jimmy stood triumphantly above him, toy sword gripped in one tiny fist and faced fixed in blinding grin. Spock stood solemnly to his right, hands clasped lightly behind his back and plastic axe laid carefully at his feet.

"Today," Jimmy began gravely, "Was a great day. We did cool stuff, and fought like pirates but better. We killed the mean dragon too. He breathed fire and everything. Invisible fire."

Well, not bad for a kid barely out of kindergarten. Jimmy certainly had a strange kind of stage presence.

"We will cellgrate-"

"Celebrate," Spock corrected gently. Jimmy ploughed on.

"Yeah, that- We will cell-brate this day for all years. And we'll eat cake and more ice cream because me and Spock are the best team ever. Right, Spock?"

"Indeed," said Spock seriously. Jimmy smiled, and called out to the world:

"Long live the king!"

He wasn't sure exactly which king Jimmy was referring to, but regardless, the boys seemed cheered by their victory. Len just hoped the 'battle' had tired them out enough to go back inside for something a little more low-key.

"Great," he muttered, starting to painfully haul himself off the ground. "Good job, now could we maybe…"

Immediately the boys sprang into action. "The monster is still alive!" Jimmy shouted wildly, whirling around and pointing with his sword. "Get him!"

Len huffed. "All right, seriously, guys, that's enough-"

_Smack._

…Okay, so Spock was really _really_ strong. Like, way stronger than anyone who barely came up to his waist had any right to be.

"Ow," he said, dazed. "Um. Ow."

"Uh, Bones?" asked Jimmy nervously. "You okay?" Spock, sitting up from where he'd landed after his spectacular tackle, looked a little guilty. Len waved a hand to show that he was all right (even though he had some serious doubts.) Where the _hell_ had that come from?

"I though Vulcans were all about negotiation?" he wheezed, laying a hand gingerly on his ribs. Bruised? Maybe. He couldn't tell.

"…Perhaps I do resemble Tolkien's elves. To some extent," Spock said. The slow blink that followed was entirely too innocent.

Len paused.

"Well played," he acknowledged. Jimmy grinned, relieved, and Spock's lips twitched in what Len was coming to recognize as his version of a smirk. Then-

"Round two?" Jimmy asked hopefully.

Len took a moment to gather his sanity and glanced at the clock on the wall. Four hours to go.

God help him.

* * *

By the time Amanda and Winona returned, the sugar rush had worn off and the sun had set. (Len had also acquired a fresh set of bruises that he'd affectionately dubbed 'battle wounds' to placate his guilty attackers.) He was reading on the back porch when he heard the front door unlock and Winona's voice call out:

"We're back! Len?"

"One sec, Ms. Kirk."

With one last exasperated look at his charges, he saved his place on his PADD and crept back into the house, careful not to make too much noise.

"We're in the back," he called softly. "Try to keep quiet if you can- they're sleepin'."

Two figures appeared in the living room, and Len led the way back to the porch, whispering:

"Jimmy wanted to stay out, look at the stars. Hope that's okay- I figured there was no harm in it. And Spock said he was 'eager to observe the difference in the movements of celestial bodies from Earth's perspective.' Or somethin. I got them all ready for bed, too. Spock said he had to meditate first, but he looked pretty beat, so he mighta skipped out on it."

He pushed open the back door. Behind him, Amanda let out a soft, "Aw..."

Len had grabbed a blanket from a closet and spread it out in the backyard. On it, Spock and Jimmy were curled up together, fast asleep under the stars. Spock had his stuffed sehlat tucked under one arm and his face pressed into Jimmy's neck- probably seeking out warmth.

"Don't be fooled," Len said dryly as the mothers cooed. "I've got bruises all over from their sword fighting earlier. They may be cute, but they're little monsters."

Both mothers burst into laughter, and Jimmy and Spock jerked awake.

"Hi mom," said Jimmy blearily, rubbing at his eyes. Spock murmured something that might have been a greeting and curled tighter around his sehlat, clearly planning on drifting back to sleep. Len rolled his eyes.

"All right, you two," he said firmly. "Back inside."

"But Boooonness," Jimmy whined, turning over and burying his face in the blanket. "I'm comferble. Com-for-ta-ble."

"You may be, Jimmy," said Len reasonably, walking over to the blanket and nudging the kid lightly with his foot. "But Spock's cold, aren't ya buddy?"

"Really?" Jimmy's head shot up, glancing over to Spock anxiously.

"This is not my…optimum preferred temperature," said Spock sleepily.

"Okay," Jimmy said reluctantly. "I guess we should-"

Without warning, Len scooped him up and threw him over his shoulder, ignoring Jimmy's startled shriek of laughter.

"Bones!"

"C'mon," he said, beginning to trek back into the house. "Bedtime."

"I can _walk_."

"But isn't this more fun?"

"_Bones!"_

"All right, all right, hold your horses-"

"Horses? I do not see-"

"It's an _expression_, Spock."

"You use many nonsensical idioms, Leonard."

"Jesus, how d'ya know the word 'idiom' anyway? You're like, five-"

"I am _six_. In Earth years."

Jimmy tugged at his hair; Len yelped and nearly dropped the kid, instead swinging him down from his shoulder with a glare. "What was that for?"

"Stop _fighting_."

"Okay, boys," Winona said, reaching out with a grin. Len carefully transferred Jimmy from his shoulders to her arms and Jimmy rubbed his eyes, deflating as exhaustion finally hit. "I think your valiant sitter has had enough for one day. Amanda, is it all right if Spock stays the night?"

Amanda took one look at Spock's sleepy face and nodded, smiling. "That's fine. They look pretty beat."

"We fought a great battle, Mother," Spock said seriously. The levity of his statement was somewhat muted by the enormous yawn that followed.

"Of course you did," Winona said. "But even warriors need their rest. Come on upstairs, Spock, and I'll get you settled."

With her arms full of nearly-asleep Jimmy, Winona led the way back inside, carrying Jimmy and leading Spock up the stairs. Len and Amanda followed, chatting as Amanda walked him to the front door.

"Thanks so much for the help, Len. Hope they weren't too overwhelming."

"No problem at all," he said. "By the way, I think Spock's feelin' a little homesick."

"Really?" she said, frowning.

"Yeah," Len said. "But a little bit of fun and torturing his poor babysitter fixed that right up." He grinned, though it felt a little strained.

Amanda groaned. "God, I'm so sorry. He's usually well-behaved."

Len waved her off. "Nah, they were fine. Just a little rowdy, and that's healthy for kids their age. Spock just, uh…doesn't know his own strength, sometimes."

"Hey Amanda? Len?" Winona called, sounding frazzled. Her head poked out from the top of the stairs. "Jimmy slipped away, can you get him? He's probably outside."

Len rolled his eyes. "Never likes to listen. I'll grab 'im."

"Thanks, Len."

He hurried back through the house and outside. Sure enough, he caught a flash of blond hair in the dim light.

"Jimmy?"

Jimmy was standing, unmoving, staring straight up at the sky. Len sighed.

"Come on, kid, inside. Your mom's waiting for you."

"Bones?"

A heavy sigh. "Yeah?"

"I like space."

"I know you do, Jimmy. And believe it or not, space'll still be there tomorrow night."

"Do you think that's bad?"

"Why would that be bad?"

"'Cause space killed my dad."

Len's heart stopped.

"…Sorry. I know I'm not supposed to talk about it. Mom said."

"No. No, it's- it's fine. I, uh…I don't think that's the full story, Jimmy. Listen-"

Len kneeled, putting gentle hands on Jimmy's small shoulders.

"Your dad went into space because he loved the stars, just like you. And when he was up there, something bad happened, but that wasn't 'cause of space. That's just because…sometimes bad things happen. And it comes outta nowhere and it's not fair or right or anything, but it happens anyway. And I know this is gonna be hard for you to understand, but…you don't have to live a certain way just because your dad died. You don't have to settle for anything less. So if you love the stars, if space is something you wanna aim for, go for it. There's no shame in dreaming. You understand?"

"Not really," Jimmy admitted. "But I do feel better."

"Well, that's a start," Len said. He pulled Jimmy in for a hug and Jimmy returned it eagerly, pressing his face into Len's shoulder.

Neither noticed Winona standing in the doorway, bitter eyes turned toward the stars.

* * *

Amanda closed the door quietly, taking comfort in the sounds of deep, steady breathing and soft, whistling snores. Spock and Jimmy had been easy to set to sleep- they were both exhausted and content. Leonard really was a miracle.

But she was worried about Winona.

She'd fallen into one of her moods again, though it seemed a little more intense than usual. She had been distant when Len had wished them a good night, and even more so when they'd been putting the kids to bed. Eventually she'd retreated to the kitchen, slumping against the counter with her hands rubbing her temples, and Amanda had taken over.

It couldn't go on.

She made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, stopping in the doorway and staring at the quiet figure still leaning against the wall.

"Hey," she said. No response. She shifted awkwardly, running a nervous hand over her hair.

"I should, uh. Get going."

"Yeah."

Well, progress. She took the plunge.

"Listen, Win, are you okay?"

"Fine."

"…I really don't think you are."

"It's_ fine,_ Amanda. Good night."

"No, damn it, it's not!"

It had gotten to the point where Amanda couldn't just let it go.

"Win, you can't just keep burying this away anymore. If this is about George-"

Her nostrils flared, the first sign of life since she'd fallen into her slump. "It's _not_ about George!"

"Well then what is it?" Amanda demanded. "Because whatever it is, it's hurting you! _And _Jimmy!"

They stared each other down, glaring. Amada took a seat at the table defiantly.

"Tell me," she said. And then she waited.

Winona stood in stubborn silence, faced turned away and fists clenched, stone cold. Eventually Amanda sighed and reached for her keys. She couldn't force it out of her-

"Sam," Winona said abruptly. Amanda froze.

"That's- that's Jimmy's brother's name. Sam."

Of course. The other bedroom. There was another child.

…Had been.

Winona fell into the chair across the table and crossed her arms over her chest defensively. Her jaw worked silently for a time before she was able to keep going.

"He was ten when it happened, when- when George. Yeah. Old enough to remember his dad and young enough not to understand why he died."

She fell silent. Amanda prompted quietly, "It must have been hard. For both of you."

Winona laughed, an ugly sound with no humor to it. "Yeah. I-yeah. And after George died I kinda…shut down for a while. I left Starfleet and didn't find work again for a long time; we had enough to keep going, but everything just felt…empty. We didn't do holidays or birthdays or anything- every time I would try and pull it together, Sam would get upset at me for pretending to be happy, or even just for trying to move on. Neither of us could let go. I should have forced the issue, gone to see someone and brought Sam in too, but I just…didn't do it. Without George, we were hardly a family anymore."

"I'm sure that's not true-"

"It was. And see, Jimmy hardly knows what 'family' is," she said, face cracking in a small, bitter smile. "So he doesn't really know what we lost. But Sam knew. He knew, and he was _angry_. And he just kept getting angrier. At me, at Jimmy, at..._everything_- and then I woke up one day and he was gone. Left a note, hacked a stack of credits out of my account, made it clear he wasn't planning on coming back."

Amanda couldn't think of anything to say. Winona looked up, suddenly desperate.

"I've looked everywhere," she said. "I'm still looking, but he's skipped planet, gone out on his own-hell, he's a genius, and he doesn't want to be found. The authorities have all but given up. I don't even know if-"

_If he's alive_ rang in the empty silence, and Winona clenched her fists on the table.

"And everything in me wants to leave, take a shuttle and find him myself, but then there's- there's Jimmy. So I can't."

"I'm so sorry," Amanda said softly, because there was nothing else she could think to say. Winona was blinking back tears, but there didn't seem to be any passion behind them; they were tears of defeat, not grief.

"We wanted to be good parents," Winona said lowly, eyes focused on some spot on the floor. "We had it all planned out. The minute Jimmy was born we were going to leave Starfleet, be there for him and Sam. Do the…the scrapbooking, the family Thanksgivings, the fucking…PTA meetings, I don't know- but then those bastards blew up our ship and everything just…"

She fell silent again and seemed to gather herself. When she looked up again, the tears were gone and only bitterness remained.

"And now I'm doing it alone, and with my head all fucked up and…Jimmy deserves so much more."

Amanda stayed silent for a long time. Finally, she spoke, considering every word carefully. "I think," she said, "That you at your lowest is probably still better than a lot of people's best, Winona. And I know that you don't have to do this alone anymore. Jimmy will have Spock, and you'll have me. And Sarek, in his own way."

"I know, but…George was always better at this," Winona muttered. "He was amazing with Sam- they were so close. They just had this _bond_, and…I'm an engineer," she said helplessly. "I knew every bit of my ship and how it worked, but I…I really can't do people. I can't even figure out what to do with my own kids."

"We're not supposed to know, necessarily," said Amanda cautiously. Winona looked like she was ready to fly apart. Amanda wondered how she'd missed all that pain sitting so close to the surface. "Just try to fix the problems when they come. That's all I've ever been able to do, that's all anyone can do. Take it one day at a time- Jimmy doesn't need you to be perfect, or to always know what to say. Just be _there_."

They sat in silence for a few long moments, listening to the sounds of crickets and the steady drumbeat of rain on the wooden roof. Amanda had nearly forgotten the sound of Earth in the summer- it was soothing and strangely unfamiliar all at once.

"Okay," said Winona eventually. "Okay, yeah. I can do that."

"Good," said Amanda, reaching out and clasping her hand. Winona smiled weakly a gripped hers back. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before Amanda hesitantly breached it.

"Are you seeing anyone about all this?"

"Yeah. On Wednesdays," Winona said. Amanda recalled the weeks of playdates, always consistently at the same time, and understood.

"That's good," she said gently. "I'm glad."

Winona nodded. "Yeah. It's been helping. I just-sometimes there's bad days, you know? And it always feels like there's so much to do, and the house is a wreck..."

She glanced forlornly around the shabby kitchen, and Amanda smiled.

"Well, I'm no engineer," she said. "But I can donate myself and Spock for work if you tell us what to do. And if we need any heavy lifting, I've got a full-sized Vulcan on hand- maybe we can get Sarek into work overalls. I'm not kidding when I say that would probably make my year."

Winona's laughter, when it came, was a little brighter than before.

* * *

Next chapter: Sarek gets a taste of babysitting, and also a wake-up call.

(Sam is not gone forever.)

A/N: So I'm sorry if that was disappointing but my computer broke and then I this was the hardest thing to write I swear and tbh I'm just really tired of looking at it because I want to move on to more exciting chapters

Also I just started college and I am in wayyyyy over my head I'll try to get things out faster but regardless of how long updates take I _promise_ that this story will never be abandoned okay

And despite how much of a loser I've been lately it still means everything to me when you guys take the time to comment, favorite, follow, or read my work so seriously thanks to everyone who's been supporting this story you are all shining stars


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